Just to make things clear at the start this is not a breast is best or breastfeeding vs formula feeding post. I have no desire or interest to belittle or judge how anyone feeds their child. Whatever works for you and your child is best! This post is in response to this article about a mother who was labelled a 'tramp' by someone who saw fit to take her picture and post it on one of those *charming* Spotted pages.
My first thought was that I couldn't believe that someone took a picture and then went to the effort of posting it on one of those judgemental pages. To take a picture of someone breastfeeding feels like a violation of both their right to privacy and their right to breastfeed. But, it got me thinking about my experiences out and about breastfeeding. My daughter is only three months but we've made it out to groups and to meet up with other mothers and babies. This has led to many public feeds.
By public feeds I don't mean hanging a sign over my head! But, simply feeding my daughter outside of the home. I'd like to think I'm pretty discreet, one top goes slightly up and the vest goes slightly down. All you can see, if you really tried to look, is my daughter's head against my chest. However, I have still had stares, glares, tuts and outright expressions of disgust! So far, no-one has thankfully said anything but it doesn't stop you feeling self-conscious.
I think the worst experience was yesterday, out on a family outing to a large park we were making the most of the blue skies! My daughter needed a feed so we settled down in the shade and my husband put the buggy to one side to shield me from the path. He then sat on the other side, so there was really very little visible. There was a young woman/teenager who as she wandered past and realised what was happening turned (yes turned!) to stare and as she did her face gained an expression of absolute disgust. Just to reiterate all that was visible was the back of my daughter's head, but you could work out that she was feeding and not simply being cuddled. I think this experience saddened me the most, that this young woman looked so disgusted by what is simply feeding a child. Having read some of the brilliant posts and blogs about the 'no more page 3' campaign and the impact of these images on young people it made me wonder if there are whole sections of the younger generation that think breasts are simply for male enjoyment and sexualisation. And as a result are horrified at breasts being used for anything else.
I've also had the tuts as I mentioned earlier and the furtive stares. Out one afternoon with a group of friends who all have children around the same age, I needed to feed my daughter. Again, really discreet but I kept catching this man looking over and watching! It became pretty obvious in the end and made me feel really awkward. I'm sure there are plenty of people that will think I am imagining this, fair enough! But, you know when you are being watched! I have never had a problem with shop or cafe owners when breastfeeding, in fact many have been hugely helpful. Sadly it has always been other members of the public who have had a problem. I would really like to see a much better culture for breastfeeding women, where it is acknowledged and accepted that it is simply a means of feeding a baby.
